Life is not easy a game,

you crave for love, care and fame...

It’s nothing but running a rat race

struggling in crowd to identify your face...

Every instant proving your potential

time passes in framing your credentials...

Unknown of the multiple phase transitions, you undergo

life plays a clever game without letting you know...

All you end up is a transformational identity

either for good or worse, time shall spell...

As you realize, you have already lost those moments

in plight of running and winning the game...

But, in this game you’d missed the essence of life: 

You live once, you love once and this life comes once...

Then, what are you running for?

What are you trying to win over?

Race is not what you want to win, battle is within you, with your aspirations...

Listen to your heart, value your charm

Give it new doors, then see all wishes shall be yours....

At times you wonder, why I'm so distressed

I believe no point disclosing feelings that are already suppressed...

My mood swings annoy you that are often unstable

but, I'm not a limelight moth, attention makes me feel uncomfortable...

To you it seems I'm happy alone

again, its not my choice but the way I've grown...

You think, I mean when I say- just don't interfere

its not, in fact it affirms that I very much wish you to but can't share...

You believe I'm too feeble to take my stand

I say, I could if ever I had a magic wand...

You hold strong that I can never change

I assure, I will but in a right time range...

Yes you say, all will be fine..trust me..just let it go...

but, again what I feel may not be necessarily what I show...

n 'what I show' is something you knowingly also don't know...

I’m not perfect, I agree…
But whenever I try to approach perfection,

I land up giving imperfect me…

I try not to delve deep into things

but you tell me,

what can I do if my thoughts have wings?

I try to cheer and also I try to smile

though, unknowingly it lasts only for a while...

My efforts not to be sensitive at all

but each time I try, I fall...
I try not to shed a single tear
maybe it’s not me but my fear...

I try my best to not to hurt you

but, all I end up is fighting hue...

I know I’m not suppose to cross that line-
a line that defines and confines

but, you need to understand 
that it is my conscious not being mine...

I earnestly wish to be what you want me to be

But

 I fail as I’m what ‘they’ want me to be…..

I’m not perfect, I agree…

But whenever I try to approach perfection,

I land up giving imperfect me…

Days...

Pondering over past days

recollecting few old memories...

that peculiar smell of wet grass...

that unique sand pattern on ground..

all is the same...

I still remember those swings...

the games we use to play...

searching for ball or shuttle...

across every corner, under every bench

upset on winds that use to blow

changing the course of play...

angry, furious and dismayed

somehow calmed by chocolates on the way...

those fights over first den in the game

without caring for anyone, without any shame...

endless debates on selection of team

easy game with known ones it seems...

choosy in every action, be it be

badminton of silvers, yonex or carlton

skates of yonkers or wrist bands of adidas

choice of fine marbles for stapoos

or sport shoes for chain-chain...

life was so simple...options in abundance

demands fulfilled every once

no hardships, no targets...n no "expectations"

but changed are the times

grown are we...n far behind left are those days.....

Up in the sky, I see the bright stars

I want a one for me but not so far

enlivening me, rejuvenating my desires

over which my life retires

imparting my life its subsistence, that's worth an existence

Star that lasts forever, leaving me never..!

whether it's a day or night, it always shine

Embracing loyalty, assuring lifelong submission...

but somewhere deep inside, I fear

by your ecsape behind the sun or clouds

or ignorance under the lame shadow

coz I'm tired of walking alone...

I know I will be safe

in cocoon of your heart

so wide open your doors

make me yours

coz I just can't cure all my gore's...

Moon & You...

I gaze at moon

with a hope to see you soon...

Your charisma all around

with prominence so sound

that makes me feel spellbound

Your glance so pure

as I see, the more I allure

Your brightness under the dark sky

just turns me shy

Waiting for you at nights

searching you at heights

caress of your bright light on my sight

makes me feel as you hug me tight

From childhood stories

till date, I relate

n give you all my worries....

I know your game of hide n seek,

just a way to make me weak

know you are hiding behind cloud

somewhere in sky crowd

Stop this play and before the dawning of the day
take me away

Alhough our night was made for loving
but the day returns too soon
I am where I was,
 waiting by the light of the moon...

Essence...

The wind blowing swiftly over me

that touch with a gentle feel

the soft whispers of leaves

A suspended moment of perfect bliss

the silver splash of the snow

reflection of your image as it show

I again feel this wet snow
on my warm, soft skin.

Maybe it's this touch,

Or the way you make me feel

But whatever it is,

I'm head over heels.

the wind chime sings your tune

affirms a cadence note

whose every drift pushes me close to you

Icy hands, Icy toes

as I go, all I see is snow

all the chill I feel, the white mountains I see

the more you last in me

still I can feel this snow

nor will I let you go...

want to hug n embrace you in me

to share the warmth of you

And each time it snows
a footstep you make or maybe two
a door slide open
I would just reach out for you...

You...

A hug and a smile

patience for a while

Respect and concern reserve

only if you feel I deserve

A soft tone

A love shown

Possesive about me or rather "WE"

evidently as I can see

Looking into my eyes

as brilliant light in dark skies
understands me, my worries
acknowledges my gestures
shares my desires
only my well being that he aspires

Lets his life for a drop of tear

the ones he can never ever bear

Awake to see me sleep all the way

till I slumbered the night away

Wishes happiness as my share

nurturing me with his care

Witnessing my immature stance,

never will he spare a chance

to grin at my naive glance

Hears my mind before it say

whether its night or day

His heart tuned with mine

that's how all goes fine

A smile in his style

makes me numb for a while

with stupid nicknames as he call

just makes me fall

I long, I admire, I yearn n I envy

All I ask me is,

How can YOU be so lovely...?

Castle in air...

The winds blow gently on my mind
Reminding me of you;
I smile.....I close my eyes
Knowing dreams do come true...

Now that we are far apart

I miss you from core of my heart...

Your existence had a meaning

evidently reflected in my life

your words still in prominence

serving as a reminiscence

of the days we were together

but now, gone are the days

and left are the memories,

memories I ponder over

that smile I crave for

that concern I long for

that intimacy I strive for

that warmth I yearn for

Often I wish for golden strands,
and dream of you once more,
praying n clasping desperate hands,
Wait! I hear a knocking at the door.....

Life is changing...

Life's changing for us my dear...

we now are laden with more responsibilities

we now have a different set of priorities..

I don't doubt to be forgotten or ignored even at once...

but yeah...its no longer going to be what it used to be...

Life's changing for us my dear...

you still will find me everywhere,

but maybe not on time

it's all still the same, the same feelings, the same concern

but things around us have changed...

Life's changing for us my dear...

we use to talk, we use to meet and we use to have fun endlessly

but now we have our respective schedules

we still talk, we still meet and we still have fun endlessly

but maybe not on time

Life's changing for us my dear...

a new journey

some set goals, some new experiences

to establish ourselves, to stand on our own

to just touch the sky, to be successful...

Life's changing for us my dear,

but one for last that can never be changed

is our everlasting bond...

our relationship-so strong, so pure and so intimate...

Time still can't figure out any changes...

we still use our rights, we still fight

we still care, we still respect

for us it still matters to be with each other

"we" still are "we" and not you & me

and it is simple and clear...

Life's definitely not changing for us my dear...!

Everything...

Hardly could have I said something…
everything seemed running so obvious
when d fact was it was all different...
I could notice, rather could feel too
but still remained silent,
for what good reason even I don’t know myself...
Maybe this time my choice to let it happen

or my running away from immuration...
It was not at all like before,
I could perceive things being changed
not only for myself
but for others around me as well...
Certainly it felt good, rather it still does
but then I fear, I fear to sustain it...
I know what it matters to have it n to lose it
realization of which just kills me the most,
For which I stand helpless

helpless to defend my conscious...
I still wished to part the prevailing proximities
but inside I crave to hold them the very same way they are...
This brings in light the battle inside me 

is it my choice or servitude to my values...?

The debate still goes on...the deviation still inherent...

I...

I wish on your wishes, I dream on your dreams

with words so clear, nothing left to fear

Feelings so intense, holding deep essence

the closeness u share, the faith u shell out

Just turns me quiescent with no doubt

I admire, I yearn n I long for you

I just dont call for your sole concern on me

Neither I'm selfish nor I'm blind

I know I owe you but in my own sense, indeed I love to share you,

with others who have an equal right on you

for they deserve more of you as they were part of you much before I claimed my right on you

And I will never be able to bridge this gap

for they stay as valuable as they were...

I assure I still will understand you the very same way I used to

I might be late, but trust me won't eva let u wait

I do care for your concern

as it completes me, nurtures me

no matter what you want, what you ask for

your words holds dominion, your say matters

not as obligation, nor as responsibility

but as choice, as my own wish

Just forgive my mistakes as mere novice,

my ears alwayz open for your advice

I'll learn from my mistakes, grows from my errors

in different life's seasons n colors

 I assure to live up to your every single expectation,

sustaining our relation's divination n incantation...

U have taught me smiling

under the worst of conditions

U made me understand meaning of life

when I ceased every hope to live...

When I had no one around to understand me

u were there, infact u were only there...

U assured that nothing can go wrong

and actually nothing did.....

I was bounded by pessimism all around

when u enlightened a clear ground...

I had enormous fears

haunting each one of dem every day

but u just fade them away...

U could feel my sorrow laden eyes

so u uplifted me through ur incessant tries

Simply with ur very dedicated n genuine intensions

ur will n wish to alleviate someone

I am actually where I'm today

Now when I ponder back on old days

I fear of arriving again the same state as before

though with each passing day my trust grew deeper

n I started trusting u more than myself

I'm assured that u will always be there,

coz for once I can doubt myself for lagging behind

considering all my efforts confined

But undoubtedly claims ur unconditional concern

that demands nothing in return....

Miss those days...

Today standing still in search of glory,

recollecting those old memories.

Thinking of those days of togetherness,

I'm filled with thrill and happiness.

Those long hours of gossips,

every moment together was a bliss.

Late night chats, munching pizza's n fats

watching movies, licking candies

bunking lectures, escaping by pity gestures

grabbing last benches, discussing our crushes

uncontrollable pounding over pj's

those stupid games we use to play

that would simply pass the day

thinking of which now just turns me gray...

Life led with zeal, embracing the bond we shared,

those giggling and laughter sessions which we had.

Caring and sharing in abundance,

today wish to have one glance.

but, time has changed for us...

now we share different priorities,

laden with few set of responsibilities

dispersed over different parts

still much closer in hearts
Moving into the flashback,

thinking of those moments, I'm taken aback

Wish,the time could be rewinded,

as those days are always reminded.

I'm speechless,left with no words,

just thoughts and thoughts.

mesmerizing moments countless,

miss them all being helpless...

Something...

There is some extreme sense of belonging,

some intimate n eternal bond...

Dont know why do I feel so or what makes me feel so...

why do I blurt out everything

why are there no resraints, no boundations or why do I ignore them if they are...

Dont know what droves immense satisfaction n complacency

or what makes my soul contented

Some strange dynamism, some strange vigor...

that makes everything genial..

Something that fades away troubles as they grow, that fills the hollowness...

Something that drives u to be still better n better

Something assuring lifelong salvation...

Abiding unconditionally by every precept of vow be it be day or night

neglecting priorities or rather escaping daily grind

just to hold and sustain concern...

This what defines something,
I truly respect, admire n envy this being...:)

She is...

    

She's a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a student, a young girl, and a grown woman...a simple girl yet unusual from others...she's pretty but most of the times she's tousled and rustic as she believes her beauty is not for all but for few.

she holds that she should not look beautiful everyday coz then special days are no indifferent from normal days...(crazy thought...yeah!)

she is intact with her prayers, trust her faith n holds rational credences to same.

she has an unostentatious elegance and possesses a congenital and innate idiosyncrasy

she embraces and honor her uniqueness

Her facile tone, her conciliatory gesture exhibiting natural accendancy over others to make u accept the very same way she wants u too, a bit manupilative to make situation worth living, to convince the audience and to sustain harmony and peace.

some strange dynamism, some strange vigor....imbued with revolutionary ardor

Tangled streaks of hair...deep hazel eyes indicating the antiquity of the soul and amulets of wisdom...

she is eleganant to her finger tips, an altogether distinct fragrance..

she respects and values her conventionalism in vogue manner, she feels smug and complacent for being naturally consecrated with ethics, virtues, integrity and righteousness...she is adored, she is appreciated and she is idolized

she's the one who cry her tears all alone in dark silence...who is very sensitive, very delicate n gets hurt easily...any thing beyond her natural stance has capabilities to break her into tears..

she is broken, she's shattered n she's tired...tired of struggles, tired of compromises, tired of attempts...

she fear her fears and dream her dreams

she enjoy refrainment or rather bounds herself as she believes confining impediments wandering, prohibits entry to doors that are difficult to escape from...she may deprive herself of pleasures or aspirations just to hold her conscientiousness...

she holds that compromising or loosing her share to others will fill her part more than she has for herself in store...(very strange though...!)

her interest towards her pleasures strikes me as more of a velleity than a firm desire or aspiration...

Least bothered of her comfort n abstemiousness in regard to gratification of desires...

she'll try her best to come upto evryone's expectations, to fulfill all what her responsibilities are, to actually abide by every norm, every percept of day and night.

she fears of being loved..she fears of being felt concerned for..coz she thinks she dont deserve..

she smiles on outside, whilst she may be dying inside...or probably lying on every side...

she maintains and sustains a balance in between her wishes and actions...she calculates n accordingly react...well, she's a perfect blend of traits...from a kid to a mature woman, a funny n humorous person to a serious n responsible one...a usual yet unusual identity

she's everything and she's nothing all at once...

:)

I was never so weak that I could unveil evrythng that I felt

But time made me its slave...

I always avoided to acknowledge my feelings

coz I feared of being misleaded by them

but now I ask myself for the same

Something made me blurt out what all I wished could remain inside me

Something asked me to disclose everythng...

and to my surprise I followed that voice

someone trusts blindly n confides in that thing more than herself...

Something assuring that sharing will make it better anyday

but I wonder for d fact that changed my irrevocable mindset

have I lost that resistance to be rigid n firm

or have I learnt to share

its nevertheless a strange percept

which I'm still ineffectual to accept...