Everything...

Hardly could have I said something…
everything seemed running so obvious
when d fact was it was all different...
I could notice, rather could feel too
but still remained silent,
for what good reason even I don’t know myself...
Maybe this time my choice to let it happen

or my running away from immuration...
It was not at all like before,
I could perceive things being changed
not only for myself
but for others around me as well...
Certainly it felt good, rather it still does
but then I fear, I fear to sustain it...
I know what it matters to have it n to lose it
realization of which just kills me the most,
For which I stand helpless

helpless to defend my conscious...
I still wished to part the prevailing proximities
but inside I crave to hold them the very same way they are...
This brings in light the battle inside me 

is it my choice or servitude to my values...?

The debate still goes on...the deviation still inherent...